Why I’m Embarrassed to be Indian
As readers of The Pop Culture Historian’s sister blog, The American Foodie, may know, my other hobby is food. As much as I like going to restaurants, tasting food and reporting what I think about them, I also like cooking food. With that in mind, I tend to hunt YouTube for handy tutorial videos; my learning style is such that I have an easier time knowing how to do something when I see it done. I stumbled upon a video where Emeril Lagasse shows an Indian-American woman how to make tandoori chicken; I would’ve embedded the video here, but PlanetGreenTV’s channel disabled embedding. It is a very helpful video! But I digress.
What got to me was when I saw this:
As any Indian-American worth his salt, I know that “ABCD” stands for “American-Born Confused Desi”; for those of you keeping score at home, “desi” (pronounced kind of like “they see”) is a way of saying “from India”. I’ve also come to realize I fit precisely what any “homegrown” Indian defines to be an ABCD. I’ve been born and raised in America. I’m basically a non-practicing nominal Hindu. As I tell all my friends here at Cornell, my Japanese is a lot better than my Bengali, which is technically my native language, and that’s more of a statement of how bad my Bengali is than how good my Japanese is. I’m generally uncomfortable eating rice with my hands, usually opting for a fork or even a set of chopsticks. I eat beef (I make a mean hamburger, but that belongs in a different post).
In other words, in the eyes of Indians, I have been tainted by America, as this woman was in the eyes of user “aditya shah”. While I feel this guy was perfectly within his right for criticizing Lagasse for making inauthentic tandoori (which I suspect it is when compared to a Gordon Ramsay tutorial I saw), it’s his saying the woman needs to “act like an indian” that I, quite frankly, found rather hurtful. I took a look at this guy’s YouTube channel, and found he’s basically a pro-India fanatic, liking any video remotely related India and criticizing Pakistan (because if you’re a proper Indian, you’re supposed to hate Pakistan and all it stands for) wherever he could. It’s obvious he has an extremely limited education (and is very likely a 12-year-old), but I’m very aware that he is not alone in having such sentiment.
Since I am of Indian descent, I think it’s ok for me to say this without backlash: I think Indian people are extremely racist. This ties back into my earlier post about political correctness, where I embedded a clip from the Indian movie Fashion. I’ll reiterate that Fashion is about a woman who rises in a career of modeling, and winds up living a life of sex, drugs, and fashion. As the main character continues her downward spiral, she goes to a club, gets high on drugs, and starts dancing with a black man. She wakes up the next morning and finds herself, to her horror, in bed with the same guy. You can see the movie treats her having sex with a black guy as her, “Damn, I really f*cked up this time!” moment. I’m guessing it would’ve been ok if she slept around with proper Indian guys, but a black guy is a big no-no. Fashion was a very mainstream movie, and that scene made it past the Indian censors; have fun getting a kiss scene into your movie and getting it past the Indian censor board.
It’s an example of a cultural trait I find simultaneously very quintessentially Indian and very unattractive. I’m quite bothered by the inherent hypocrisy because I know the same Indians are more than likely extremely sensitive toward racism they perceive to be aimed at themselves. A few years ago, there was an infamous humor piece written by Time columnist Joel Stein (one of my high school’s favorite sons, but that’s besides the point) about how Edison, New Jersey has basically been transformed into Little India. Needless to say, there was a serious outcry from Edison’s (very large) Indian community.
What I see is a classic example of the “I’m ok with racism as long as it’s not pointed at my group” double standard. If I had to drop my two cents on the matter, I feel like Indians have no more right to hold prejudices against “Americanized” Indians or blacks than Joel Stein does to Indian Americans.
I know Katy Perry’s yellowfaced performance as a Japanese geisha stirred up some controversy, where “white privilege” was a buzzword that was thrown around. What do people think of this song from the hit Indian movie, Love in Tokyo? In case you’re wondering, the movie is more or less totally devoid of Japanese characters, despite being set in Tokyo. I’m curious what the Japanese people who were observing this video being shot from a distance thought of the whole thing.
I wish people didn’t stereotype us, sweeping all of us under the same rug. This is the third such post I’ve read, in as many days, and all of them were by Indians! That said, I was struck by that scene in fashion too. In fact, THE HINDU published an article about closet racism in India, about how black people were turned down in some beauty parlours because apparently they didn’t know how to deal with ‘their kind of hair’, and the scene you have described from the movie, was mentioned.
I’m ashamed about a lot of things that happen on a daily basis in India. But this is still the only place in the world, where nobody can ask an Indian to ‘go back’. This is the only place in the world where you won’t be asked – ‘where are you from, originally?’
Unless you were going for sheer shock value, I have to say that your title was depressing…
You bring fair points up. I live in a very liberal part of America where, ironically enough, the minorities (particularly Asians) are generally a lot more racist than the Americans are; I only had one isolated incident back when I was in elementary school of a white kid telling me to go back, so I guess I never really had that issue. In fact, I went to high school in Edison, NJ, which is basically Little India, and it was in school where I had other Indian students calling me “ABCD” and generally commenting on how Americanized I was.
Good for you…
You say >This is the only place in the world where you won’t be asked – ‘where are you from, originally?’
This isnt really true – every Indian gets asked where they are from orginally, referring to which state they are from ie. punjabi, gujati, etc. esp in the major cities; and if you are bengali you get asked by other bengalis are you ‘ghoti’ or ‘baati’ ie. from west bengal or east bengal, originally
You say > But this is still the only place in the world, where nobody can ask an Indian to ‘go back’.
– Not true anymore 😦 While ‘India go back is a common chant in Kashmir, now it has reached universities in Delhi like JNU as well as West Bengal, Chennai etc. and Indian students themselves are chanting ‘India go back’ on the streets to other Indians.
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Lucky for you you didn’t grow up in Jersey City where Indians were routinely beaten up and head their heads bashed in with bats by Latinos (mostly Puerto Ricans), and Italians. All attacks were unprovoked,and some of the perpetrators went on to respectable careers in schools, public office, and law enforcement. I can forward you the phone numbers of the families whose children actually died or were severely traumatized.
Also, you may want to talk with former prosecutor for middlesex county, Alan Rankoff, and ask him about a multi-ethnic group of steroid-pumping BMW-driving white, Greek, and Jewish teens and young adults that terrorized Indians on Oak Tree Road and Hill Stop Station (rocks through windows, slashing tires, beating up old men, shouting “Hindus”, etc.). Not that you would ever defend helpless victims from actual physical and verbal assault. Oh, and exactly why are Indians only 0.5% of the total US population? If you think that’s just a coincidence than you’re more naive than I thought.
Once again, you make some very valid points. However, you failed to see the point of this article: I think it’s not at all anymore ok for Indians to be racist than it is for anyone else. Basically what I meant to say is that in an ideal world, NOBODY would be prejudiced against ANYBODY, like I’m bothered by an Indian movie depicting black people in such a negative light. I also find the idea of calling Indian-Americans like me “ABCD” very hurtful which again, in my opinion, makes Indian people no better than the perpetrators of the attacks you described.
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Hi Nasen. I wish I had stumbled upon your article much sooner.
I have seen the movie Fashion (love the soundtrack) and while it was a good story, I did catch onto the part where she wakes up to find the black man next to her. It took a black man for her to understand how low she had stooped was pretty much the point. Have you seen the Bollywood movie called Queen? That movie strongly stereotypes people of different countries. There is a scene where one of the characters she meets in her time in Europe is (overly) Italian – he talks with his hands in a very sing-song accent. Also, the main character of the movie comes across a Japanese group of tourists and that scene is supposed to show the “weirdness” of Japanese people as a whole.
I wanted – and I hope it’s not too late to – share my experience. I apologize in advance for this very long post.
Yes, I too have noticed that there is a lot of racism and hypocrisy in India and they tend to bring their regressive mindset everywhere they go (whether it’s in India or out of). I’m glad that another person of Indian origin shares my perspective because it has actually been a rare thing for me. Unlike you though, I was born in Bombay but left India when I was 4 to live overseas due to my dad’s employment (although I frequented India during summer breaks). I eventually came to the US for college and have been living and working here ever since so this makes me a first-generation Indian immigrant.
Since I have had the blessing (and it is a huge blessing) to have experienced both worlds, it has been my observation that most Indians have some sort of lingering unresolved angst and have a lot of duality and double standards. I will give you an example I have experiences first-hand: When I was living overseas, I used to be in school which affiliated itself with the Indian Board of Education so it followed an Indian curriculum and system of schooling. But it was just too rigorous and frankly extremely unproductive and senseless. Needless to say I had no intention of being an engineer / doctor / IT technician / going into commerce and I didn’t have the willpower or the motivation so I got jaded very quickly. I want to pursue the arts, which in India, there is very little scope to get a formal education in (or to atleast to be able to tailor a high school education to use as a platform). At the time. I was also a Permanent Resident of the US. Both these factors got my dad to think it was a god idea to transfer me to an American International school. It was also embarrassingly expensive but to this day, I am grateful to my dad for the foresight he had. Needless to say, I was shamed for it (behind my back) by my Indian peers and their parents. It was seen as a move because I was too stupid, too dumb for the Indian education system, and that I would be a destined failure. And an American education in their eyes, was seen as a cakewalk and an easy-A. (and yet I know how Indians are threatened and yet amazed by Americans). But! After a semester or so at my school, they also wanted to eagerly know if I had any white friends. And get this! Here’s the kicker: Since I was at an American International high school, during my eleventh grade, the school hosted a college fair which had American colleges being represented. And my dad was asked by an Indian family friend (who I was sure that along with his kids, disapproved of my American schooling) if he could get an invite. The sheer nerve of the man. And of course, a lot of these same kids ended up going to western countries for their higher education.
I hate to say it, but I have not had many good experiences with Indians from India (or those strongly rooted in Indian ways). But Indian-Americans have been always so nice. I usually hesitate to have anything to do with Indians unless they show that they are like-minded if not open-minded in some way. Otherwise it causes an endless slew of conflicts and passive-aggressive hostility and shaming.
I have seen rich (and inevitably sheltered) Indian kids who thought they knew everything about the western world until they came to the United States for their college education. Some of them opted to go back to India after a few semesters to continue their schooling because the culture shock was just too strong – I can imagine that it was primarily due to being in an environment where the other (western) kids their age already live like full-fledged adults and in comparison to Indian standards are fiercely independent. I have also cringed at some of the behavior from some young Indians who have come here to the US and who are getting their first exposure living in a foreign country. It is understandable that there is culture shock (for both parties). But for the most part they usually come across as loud and boisterous – and I mean in a very rowdy way. I don’t understand why they cannot watch and observe those around them to better fit in. They also tend to cling together when they are living overseas (primarily because the other is simply also an Indian) which strengthens the stereotype that “all asians hang out together”. In my case, if the other person I meet happens to be Indian, I always feel there is an uncommunicated expectation / pressure to get acquainted (read as: to instantly become best friends due to the lack of boundaries Indian people practice). Frankly, I am starting to see now how this translates into just plain neediness and borderline co-dependency based on some archaic excuse of being of the same race (and sometimes nationality). This also ties in to why Indians from India feel very offended at other Indians who have adopted a western lifestyle. I think they feel that westernized Indians betrayed their Indian fellowmen by moving overseas or that they sold their soul to the white man to live in their country. To some degree, I have heard that this is the same kind of standoff-ish behavior that US-PuertoRicans in NY (or NY-Ricans as they like to be called) experience when they visit Puerto-Rican. A lot of disconnect mixed with a lot of tension
Too much independence seems to scare Indians. I find that Indians by and large are very risk-averse and I would go as far as to say that their culture has been the cause of their problems for a long time now. They stand in their own way. I know Indian people are very proud of their heritage and rightfully so. But the way I see it, they are victims of constant and long-term conditioning of an ancient culture which has made them very comfortable and rigid in their ways. And so they are traditionalists which equates to them not wanting to proactively change. Even if Indians are modern – and they are in a certain sense – they tend to still have ancient values. The younger generation of Indians in India though are starting to break out but are still widely oppressed by older members of their community (parents, grandparents, governments) and so on.
I admit that I was one of them at some point, including being strongly culturally conditioned (my parents kept some of that alive inspite of having moved around a lot). I would say the greatest disservice Indians do to themselves is not questioning their thinking – which happens to be very hypocritical. They think of the pettiest excuses to cling onto their primitive outlooks of the world and other races. I know one of the popular reasons why they tend to look down on Americans is that the there is a high-divorce rate, and a lot of premarital / casual sex. But I would still live in a country that sees filling for divorce as a legal option and recognizes it as a form of human rights, than to live in a country where the thought of divorce (or any life-changing decision for that matter) is seen as blasphemous and ostracizes people. I know even now, Indian people will go so far as to argue and point out other first-world country’s flaws. The point is not that Americans used to, once upon a time, also find premarital sex or divorce as being a taboo. The point should be that two wrongs don’t make a right, but Indian people repeatedly fail to see it (in my experience).
Lastly (and I’m sorry this has been such a long reply), I think it is absolutely ok to not feel pressurized to support / affiliate with Indians from India only because we were, at some point, came from the same land / have the same coloration / have the same name. Westernized Indians are expected to immediately and fully conform to traditional Indian mindsets (mindsets, not laws) when visiting India or when dealing with Indians from India, which I think is just crass. I think vastly Indians prefer to stay in their comfort zone with their unquestioning (re: blind) beliefs and unyielding (re: blind) loyalty to their culture, and you cannot change those who don’t want to change. I have been making it a point to distance myself from fresh-off-the-boat Indians who in many cases, have rushed to want to get to know me (their first question being “Where in India are you from” instead of the “How are you”). I may look Indian on the outside, but on the inside, (to their disappointment) I’m pretty much not – and I make sure that is the first thing they know about me.
Once again Nasen – I’m so sorry this turned out to be such a long response. I enjoyed your article and I have bookmarked your website for more : )