Ferat Vampire (1982)

It's Luisa! No Klara! No it's....I give up.

It’s Luisa! No Klara! No it’s….I give up.

NOTE: This is yet another post that originally existed in the form of a Facebook note, which was written shortly before this blog was started, in spirit very similar to my post on Drift Special: Beauty Battle.

Ferat Vampire (Upir z Feratu) is a 1982 Czech horror film starring Dagmar Veskrnova, more well known as Dagmar Havlova after getting married to president Vaclav Havel.

Dr. Marek (Jiri Menzel) is an emergency response physician ferried around in an ambulance by Mima (Veskrnova). On a routine call, they run into a racing car that causes an accident. Later, Marek and Mima see the same racing car had itself gotten into an accident, killing the driver. It turns out that the car is made by the Ferat corporation and wants to hire Mima to race in it. Marek gets worried when it is suggested that the car doesn’t run on gasoline, but on human blood.

The premise was an interesting one initially, but after the introduction, things just kind of fell apart. Questions were raised, only to be answered with more questions.

The movie was too frantic for its own good. The script just jumped all over the place while barely giving Menzel a chance to keep up, and when he did arrive on the scene, it ultimately ends with him getting scared by something.

There was something almost comical in Jiri Menzel’s performance. Imagine this: a little man with huge horn-rimmed glasses running around and constantly getting scared by something, usually of varying relevance to the main plot.

Ultimately, Ferat Vampire wound up degenerating into a conspiracy theory/business allegory film when it initially set out to be a horror/mystery film. The issue with Ferat Vampire is the complete lack of focus it had. It was hinted that Marek was romantically interested in Mima. The problem was they spent so little time onscreen at the same time as each other that their relationship wound up being little more than a weak excuse for Marek to investigate this vampiric car.

So a confused plot, horrendous pacing, cheesy special effects, and an awkward sex scene being thrown in for good measure make Ferat Vampire just another B horror movie. There was one race scene in the movie, but I would scarcely recommend seeing this movie, even to the most hardcore gear heads, for that.

Score: 1.5/4

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