Deadly Prey (1987)

The entire movie in a nutshell.

There are times when you watch a movie, and the only thing on your mind is, “What the f*** did I just see?” That is the case of Action International’s Deadly Prey.

So a PMC is training for missions by randomly kidnapping people and then hunting them down. Soon, they realize they made a mistake by abducting Mike Danton, a former Special Forces soldier.

Deadly Prey in every way was hilarious B-movie stuff that you would expect along the lines of Mystery Science Theater 3000 fare. I’m under the impression that English wasn’t the native language of whoever wrote the script as the dialogue consistently sounded stilted and unnatural. Moreover, every once in a while, I would pause the movie and ask my friend, “Um, do you have any idea what was going on in this movie up until now?” to which he would respond that he didn’t.

Even then, the cast did nothing to save the script. Ted Prior as the lead character basically just shouted monosyllabic grunts in an attempt to be the indie film’s answer to Sylvester Stallone. Did I mention he was naked save for a pair of ultra short shorts for almost the entire movie?

In addition to the hilarious special effects (such as when Danton cuts a guy’s arm off and beats him to death with it), Deadly Prey featured what is easily the most G-rated rape scene ever filmed. Like how The Avengers was the perfect movie to get Twilight out of my system, Deadly Prey is the perfect movie to get The Avengers out of my system. Even Twilight had what was required to basically function as a movie which Deadly Prey didn’t, but I will say that Deadly Prey had an artistic integrity which was completely absent in Twilight. For that reason it gets the same score.

Score: 1/4